Friday, August 19, 2016

Worst Things about High Spirits


     Hello, night owls!! Now, you'd either have to be an extensive fan of obscure 80's films, the director Neil Jordan, or of Liam Neeson to know that this movie exists. I didn't even know it existed until I saw someone's upload of the entire thing in my suggestions on YouTube. And after seeing it, I could totally understand why no one would ever hear the title High Spirits and think of Steve Guttenberg and Liam Neeson.
     If you think you're hallucinating seeing those two vastly different actors' names together, trust me - you aren't.
     High Spirits was a film made released in 1988 by Neil Jordan, the director of The Company of Wolves and The Crying Game. Apparently Neil Jordan wanted to tap into his Irish roots for a project and he created the most bizarre fantasy/comedy I've ever seen. It's cast not only includes the aforementioned Steve Guttenberg and Liam Neeson, but also Peter O'Toole, Beverly D'Angelo, Jennifer Tilly, and the Razzie award-winning Daryl Hannah...who was nominated for another Razzie in this film.
     Oh, boy.
     The story originally hinges on a alcohol-loving Peter Plunkett (Peter O'Toole) saving his home Castle Plunkett from being foreclosed. How does he do this? By giving it some slight refurbishing and advertising it as a haunted castle hotel for tourists. Of course, there are no ghosts, so Peter's friends step in to act out the part. When a bunch of American tourists come and find they're being pranked, they're on the verge of leaving.
     But then the real ghosts appear!
     From that point on, the "save the castle" plot is practically dropped and it centers on a more romance-driven plot. Two of the tourists named Jack and Sharon (played by Guttenberg and D'Angelo), who are wrestling with their terrible marriage, find themselves caught up with the ghosts of Mary Plunkett (Hannah) and Martin Brogan (Neeson). Throughout the plot of Mary becoming mortal to satisfy Jack and Martin creepily seducing Sharon, there are comedic sequences of hauntings affecting the rest of the tourists.
     Now this movie is a mess - a - big heaping pile of ideas and imagery that really should have undergone more thought and editing. I could talk about this movie and all its imperfections until my face was blue! There are also a few selects parts of this movie that do work. But I'm not going to delve into details. Instead, I will give you the bullet-point version of the things that bug me most about this movie. If you're really curious afterwards about what this movie has to offer, you can check it out yourself. So sit back and...well, try to relax as I give you the worst of High Spirits.

Worst Things about High Spirits

1. Jack/Steve Guttenberg  -  Why am I listing both the actor and the character at the top? Because they are both equally bad in this movie. I don't know what people saw in Guttenberg back in the 80's. I've heard he was funny...how genuinely funny he really was, I don't know. Regardless of popular opinion, I did not like him in this. The character he played probably contributes a lot to that, since Jack is a class-act asshole who cares about nothing but good looks and getting laid. What bugs me a lot about Guttenberg's performance as this jerk is that he acts as though Jack is supposed to be a nice guy. He acts like Jack is supposed to be that kind of guy you could see yourself having drinks with when really Jack is that desperate guy at the bar that's hitting on all the girls. When Mary's ghost turns from a beautiful woman and into a corpse, she begs him to keep helping her defeat the curse that holds her spirit hostage. She says that she's still the same woman inside. But the only part of her he's ever cared about is the outside and he almost doesn't help her. From start to finish, Jack is as shallow and superficial as you can get. I absolutely hated this character and I hated Guttenberg's approach to the role. He was completely wrong for the part.

2. Peter O'Toole  -  I saw Lawrence of Arabia when I was a teenager and I was blown away by the movie. I was also impressed with Peter O'Toole's acting. So I was shocked when I realized he was playing the driveling, drunken character of Peter Plunkett, because he was absolutely ghastly in that role! There are only a couple moments of his acting I can take somewhat seriously. But all throughout, I was stunned at his nearly expressionless face and his monotone voice that wavered between mumbling and shouting. He was rarely funny and frequently unbearable for me in this movie.

3. Tone  -  Like I said above, the movie starts out with the "save the castle" plot thread. It does rather well, featuring a refurbishing and testing montage set to rambling Irish music that is both charming and enjoyable. By the time the montage is over, you're thinking, "Okay! Let's see if these guys can pull this off!" Then the tourists arrive and the fake hauntings begin. After a series of hilarious sequences, the tourists realize they're being pranked and the game is up for our poor friends. Then, just as Peter Plunkett gives his sappy little "we love the place, please give us another chance" speech, you look at the time. Only about half an hour has passed on this 99 minute movie! If we're only a third of the way through, why does it feel like it's almost over? But really, that's just the cue to move on to the romantic "subplot"...and by subplot, I mean subplot that completely takes over the original story and becomes the plot. Once that happens, the tone shifts. Instead of being a straight comedy like it started out, it clunkily shifts between the two romantic entanglements and hastily thrown-in slapstick scenes. Whenever it cuts to a romantic bit (especially for Jack and Mary), it stalls the movie. And whenever it cuts to a comedic bit, it makes you think, "What? Why!?" This constantly shifting tone makes the movie feel like it's two hours...and the movie's not great enough for that to be a good thing!

4. Underdeveloped Backstory  -  When we first meet Jack and Sharon, we know right off the bat that their marriage has to be a mistake. They're the worst for each other. She's more mature, but she's very snippy and uncommunicative. He just wants to make love all the time. You can't imagine how or why they would they'd ever get married and if you were curious about those details...good for you. The movie fails to explain this, so we're simply thrown these two characters that are completely wrong for each other.

5. Ghost Love Terminology  -  One of the central focuses of the second half of this movie is about the interactions between ghosts and mortals. As you've probably guessed, the only interactions the movie chooses to focus on are sexual interactions, of course. Throughout the movie, Jack learns about what mortals can and can't do with ghosts. Here is where things get very confusing. In the movie, making love is called "tupping" by the ghosts and that is made clear enough. But then the term "scalping" or "skelping" (seriously, which is it!?) is used in reference to...some form of making out? Making love? What? You can see the effects of this "skelping" (I'm sticking with that spelling, because I'm pretty sure they don't mean scalping!) in an encounter between Jack and Mary...but it doesn't really help you understand what it is.

     Those are my major nitpicks. If there are any Neeson fans reading this, perhaps you're wondering, "Well, what's he like in this movie?" I can sum up that question in four words.
     Murderous, horny Irish ghost.
     You're going to have to see the movie if you want specifics on that one!

                                                                                                           ~Maud,
                                                                                                  Official Night Owl

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Reminder


     Hello, night owls!! I just thought I'd remind you that starting the week of August 24th (next week), there will be a two week hiatus on this blog. I will be starting college on that week and want to get an idea of what kind of time I'll have. After two weeks, I will return with a status update. Until then, look out for Friday's High Spirits post!!

                                                                                                            ~Maud,
                                                                                                    Official Night Owl

Monday, August 15, 2016

Yea or Nay


     Hello, night owls!! You know, when people put out a petition to take down Rotten Tomatoes and claim that the critics are horrible monsters, it's a good indicator that the audience isn't just a flock of sheep. Sure, there might be some people out there who will say any movie is good, but that's not the majority of movie-goers. Whether you know it or not, you can tell when a movie is great or going south. Without knowing any of the finer details of cinematography, screen-writing, story development, acting, or any other part of a film, you have an innate sense about what makes a good movie. And when something is off, you will know it.
     It might seem like only recently the audiences are getting more responsive and attentive, but that isn't true. They've always been that way. Whether or not you think their views of a film are right, they're at least engaged enough to have opinions. That means they care about what's presented as entertainment to them.
     So when those "high and mighty" critics put in their two cents on the latest from the box office, the audience is paying attention, too.
     Now, this isn't the first time audiences have disagreed with the critics on how good or bad a film is. However, it's the first time that I've noticed a very noticeable difference in opinion between the public and the critics. Especially with Suicide Squad. The critics are tearing this one up while the general audiences are loving it. While critics hail it as a terribly edited, washed out fluke of a film, the public are calling it fun, hilarious, and action packed. And both groups feel very strongly about their views. Granted, there are plenty of people who don't like Suicide Squad, but the general consensus among viewers is positive.
     With all this in mind, does that mean that the critics serve no purpose?
     Well...
     This isn't an easy question to answer and I'm by no means a professional critic myself. The best way I can answer this question is by explaining why I like to review movies critically.
     I love movies. I absolutely love them. I re-watch old favorites, look up behind the scenes videos and interviews, learn about how they got made, and even watch other people's reviews to see what they saw in these films. I'm a movie nerd in practically every way and especially as an aspiring actor, I turn to movies for inspiration and entertainment. Because I've read into many "making of" processes and have learned a lot about what goes into a production, I can enjoy a movie for more than just it's story and characters. I can look at the designs, sets, music, and several other aspects and appreciate them. Even if I'm watching a bad movie, I can usually find at least one good thing in it.
     My love of analyzing movies drives me to express my thoughts about them. I can't not talk about movies, good or bad, and when I'm watching one, I usually can't stop my brain from looking at it from every possible angle. If it's good, I want to appreciate my movie experience to the fullest, and if it's bad, I want to see what worked and what didn't. 
     Through my love of the medium and my ability to analyze, I form an opinion unique to myself and I share it on this blog.
     Do I think I'm right?
     No. I never strive to be "right" and I don't think other critics strive to be "right", either. There's no such thing as a "right" opinion about a film, because everyone is going to have a different opinion. Did the critics, the audience, and every mother's son love Frozen? Pretty much, yeah. Was it a fantastically made movie? On several levels, it is pretty revolutionary. But do I like it? No. I could point out all the things in that film that don't work and several people would agree with me, too. Is that, however, the right opinion of it? No. Right is relative in entertainment.
     Am I doing this to bash movies or brainwash the audience?
     No. The only reason I talk about movies is because they move me in some way. I review them to express how I feel about them. At the very most, I hope my opinions perhaps enlighten you, but I never seek to directly influence you. If I say a movie is bad, that's simply my opinion that I hold and I do not wish to enforce onto anyone. I hate Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice, but I have friends who managed to enjoy it more than I did. I may throw in my two cents on the movie, but I never try convincing them to believe my opinion is right. And when I say a movie is bad, I try to lay out the specific flaws that, in my opinion, make it so: that way, I'm not just bashing it for no reason. Whether or not you choose to look at those details and say, "She's got a point" is up to you. But you certainly do not have to agree with me.
     Do I think my opinion is higher than the general audience?
     Absolutely not. I may know a lot about what goes into making a movie, but that knowledge doesn't make my opinion matter more than anyone else's. You don't have to be a master actor to appreciate Jodi Foster and Anthony Hopkins' performances in Silence of the Lambs. You don't have to be a director to understand the genius behind Hitchcock, Kubrick, or Nolan's filming styles. You don't have to know anything about the world of film in order to know greatness when you see it. All knowing does is make you understand the work behind the shot and to be honest, sometimes that can make it harder for you to simply enjoy a movie.
     Do I hold Oscar bait in highest esteem?
     I hardly even see any of the so-called "Oscar bait" movies for several reasons. One is that I usually don't see a lot of their trailers - heck, I don't even know about some of them until I'm watching the Oscars! (I'm sure plenty of you can relate) Second is because while these movies are usually done well, often they follow the same formulas (based on a true story, melodramatic piece, art-house style) and those don't hold my interest very long. If you matched up my favorite movies to the typical Oscar bait, I'd look like I had poor taste. They're generally not fun or interesting enough for me.
     Do I agree with the rest of the critics?
     If you've read my Thoughts post on Suicide Squad, you'll know that I definitely don't always agree with other critics. I do follow critics (Nostalgia Critic in particular), but even with the ones I like, I don't always agree with their opinions. The only reason I follow other critics is that I want to know how they felt about a certain movie. Being a movie nerd, I want to see what the rest of the movie nerds think - not to form my opinions, but merely to know theirs. For instance, one of my favorite movies is the 1985 Return to Oz. However, renowned critics Siskel and Ebert completely trashed the movie because it wasn't the sequel to The Wizard of Oz that they wanted. Hearing them bashing that movie makes me pissed every time.
     So, if I'm not out to control audiences or trash-talk movies, is there even a point to me talking about all this?
     In the grand scheme of themes, probably not. The time I use to talk about movies on this blog could have been used to do something else. And if everyone else is going to form their own opinion of a movie, then it might seem pointless just to throw out my own. 
     But you know what? There is something of a point to criticism. It helps shape the face of entertainment. If no one said they hated what George Lucas did to the Star Wars franchise with its prequels, do you think Star Wars: The Force Awakens would have been the same? Would we have gotten (generally) higher quality superhero films if we hadn't said the ones in the 80's and 90's could have been so much better? Both audiences and critics have the power of "yea or nay" that helps provide movie-goers with the movies they want to see. The very act of buying a ticket to a movie can be an endorsement of the kind of entertainment you want (I say can, because there's always the chance you'll reject a movie even if you went to see it in theatres). 
     By choosing to be vocal about your movie experiences - regardless of your knowledge of film-making - you have a say in entertainment. It's not the most direct influence, but it's what the industry cares about. In the end, without the voices of both audiences (the people these movies were made for) and the critics (the people who can look at the movies in-depth), movies would not have changed the way they have over the years. Considering how relatively young this art form still is, it's important to be vocal about what you liked, didn't like, and want to see in order for it to grow. 
     Critics do not look at a film to intentionally bash it (at least, most of the time, they don't). They're merely trying to look at it for production value (sets, design, costume, etc) as well as story and acting quality. None of them are twirling their mustaches and saying, "Let's find everything wrong with this movie or make something up!" They're looking at every possible angle they can in order to find a movie's ultimate value. In the case of Suicide Squad, they took issue with the editing, the dialogue, the humor, and the soundtrack. I can see why, because even though I like the movie, those things the critics pointed out do feel very choppy and imperfect. But while it has its imperfections, I'm with the majority of the audiences on this one. It's still fun, humorous, and has some quality acting in it. I managed to enjoy it, even if the critics didn't.
     And you know what? Neither group is wrong in what they choose to think.
     Just look at it this way. If you choose to listen to critics (myself included), that's fine. But listen with a grain of salt and an open mind, know that their opinions aren't the law, and that the only way to judge the movie is to see it for yourself.
     Only you can determine to what extent you'll enjoy a movie.

                                                                                                           ~Maud,
                                                                                                   Official Night Owl
     

Friday, August 12, 2016

Thoughts: Nerve


     Hello, night owls! Ever felt like everyone took chances except for you? Felt like you could be more if you could do something daring? Thought about what monstrous creations can arise from the dark web? Or have you pondered what lengths - good or bad - social media can take us? If so, Nerve is the perfect movie for you.
     I have to be honest: at this point in 2016, this is probably the best new movie I've seen yet. X-Men: Apocalypse and Suicide Squad were fun (though flawed) and The BFG was wonderful, but Nerve was absolutely and completely satisfying. The critical voice inside my head was silent the entire time and I was hanging on to the arms of my chair and holding my breath because it's just that gripping and that good. The trailers I'd seen had prepared me for what looked to be a good movie, but I could not have prepared myself for the thriller that this was.
     And at the end of the day, I really don't have any criticisms for this...that's rare for me.
     The only things I can say are good because there is so much good in this film. The entire cast was perfect and their characters were people you cared about. Usually I find most teenage characters in movies completely annoying because they're played so stereo-typically. But in here, they feel real and at the end of the day, you understand why they do the things they do. They're easy to connect with and played with such honesty.
     Emma Roberts and Dave Franco as Venus (Vee) and Ian are especially compelling. Seeing them work and develop together is wonderful. Vee wants to go to CalArts for photography, but holds back because of her mother. This holding back is reflected when her friends first tell her to play Nerve, which makes her choice to become a player even more powerful. Because of this choice, she slowly but surely loses her hesitancy and discovers her own courage and strength of will. She starts becoming the person she dreamed of being - and all without being a Mary Sue! As for Ian, he's not your typical YA throwaway love interest, nor an Edward Cullen or a Draco Malfoy in leather pants. He's a daring yet friendly guy, someone you could easily picture in the real world. He also doesn't hover over Vee. Instead, he acts as a guide, acknowledging her fear and inexperience yet still able to give her the push she needs to continue the game. On top of that, he's not a crazed, thrill-seeking junkie - he knows the dares in Nerve can be dangerous and have extreme consequences. This knowledge gives him personal responsibility that many other players of the game probably don't have.
     Everyone else in the supporting cast, including Vee's friends (Emily Meade, Miles Heizer, Kimiko Glen, and Samira Wiley), Vee's mother (Juliette Lewis), and a fellow player (Colson "Machine Gun Kelly" Baker) deliver great performances. Not a single one of their characters is put to waste and they are just as believable as the main stars.
     But cast and characters aside, there are several other aspects of this film that are just as wonderful. The soundtrack, for starters, is perfect, with modern pop songs and synths that are reminiscent of the 80's help drive the exhilarating rush in this film. The lighting is fantastic, with lots of strong, brightly colored neon and the sets/locations are perfect all throughout.
     The subject matter of this movie is what makes this more than just a typical action-packed summer movie. The dare game of Nerve is not completely outside the realm of possibility. The infamous dark web is full of shocking and horrifying things - including games - that are similar in tone and with the popularity of apps and challenges, it's not hard to imagine something like Nerve existing. In fact, an app called Periscope which allows a user to tweet a link to Live Stream videos that can be liked by observers already does half of what Nerve does (minus the dares and financial incentives). This film also brings about the ramifications of what we choose to support on the internet and the double-edged sword of anonymity without being overly preachy. Especially in the climax, this message is hammered home with stark clarity and makes this thriller poignant and ponderous as well.
     This is not a film to be looked over. I cannot recommend it enough. It is literally one of the best cinematic experiences I've ever had and I'm already dying to see it again and again. It's got intense action, amazing characters, incredible production design, a fitting soundtrack, and a message that's incredibly relevant in this day and age.

                                                                                                            ~Maud,
                                                                                                  Official Night Owl
   

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Change of Plans!


     Hello, night owls! I'm announcing a change of plans for this week's post. Last Friday, I got to see one of the most highly marketed summer flicks of 2016 - Nerve. It was so good that I have to dedicate a post to it. So this Friday, there will be a Thoughts post on Nerve and the High Spirits post will be next Friday. 
     Stay tuned and if you haven't see Nerve already, do yourself a favor and see it as soon as possible. It's one of the best movies of the summer and definitely not one to pass up.

                                                                                                       ~Maud,
                                                                                              Official Night Owl

Monday, August 8, 2016

Thoughts: Suicide Squad


     Hello, night owls! You know, since I said I'd talk about Suicide Squad last week, a lot more news and reviews of this have popped up. And all of it is bad. The Rotten Tomatoes deal is already bad enough (it is now at 26%, just one step lower than Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice). But even worse, there have been reports that it is no longer going to be viewed in China, one of the world's biggest movie markets. Critics everywhere are panning it as a bad film.
     But guess what?
     There are lots of movie-goers who have seen this movie and have liked it. They're lashing out against the Rotten Tomatoes rating, even making a petition to take the site down. On top of all that, this movie did do well at the box office on its opening weekend, being the second-best debut of a DC property.
     Personally speaking, I didn't know what to expect. There had been quite a bit of hype for this movie, especially with its flashy trailers and the promise of the return of the infamous Batman villain, the Joker. There was also news that a lot of parts were re-shot to throw in more humor. And of course, there were plenty of horrifying articles about what Jared Leto was doing in order to get in character for the Joker.
     So when I walked out of that theatre last week, how did I feel about this film?
     Well...it's by no means perfect, but it's not that bad, either.
     Don't get me wrong, this movie has sloppy moments and noticeable flaws. Their antagonist wasn't what I expected (and not necessarily in the good way) and didn't seem to do a whole lot, some scenes linger a little too long, the dialogue can be a little too on the nose at times, and pieces of the soundtrack don't always flow well from one scene to another. I can tell, knowing that they re-shot some stuff, that they were trying very hard - a little too hard at times - to make this funny. From time to time, it felt like they were trying to go for a Guardians of the Galaxy feel. 
     That feeling of trying is probably the film's biggest flaw. The Suicide Squad isn't like the Guardians of the Galaxy. The Guardians are a rag-tag bunch of criminals who end up pursuing the same goals together. The Squad is a whole other matter entirely. These criminals are being forced against their will to be a part of Amanda Waller's program. They don't always place nice with each other and no matter how sympathetic or lovably quirky some of them might seem, they would turn on you in a heartbeat if it meant their freedom. So with that darker element in mind, it's a little harder to make something like the Squad funny in the way that the Guardians were. At least, the Squad can't be funny in the same way.
     That being said, I enjoyed watching this movie. While the story could get murky and the villain didn't really pay off, I enjoyed the characters and the action sequences. The Squad itself had a great cast that made me want to know more about their characters (and I really do hope we learn more about all of them in the future!). Especially surprising to me were Will Smith and Margot Robbie as Deadshot and Harley Quinn. I'd wondered how Smith would handle a more nefarious role than he usually played, but he handled it very well. He made the role of Deadshot his own and he was able to portray the character's hopes and goals in a realistic way. As for Robbie, I was genuinely surprised. Usually when you think of Harley Quinn, you think of the grinning, silly jester-like girl who follows Joker around like a puppy no matter what he does to her. But Robbie gave a performance that not only did justice to Harley's character but also gave her power and humanity. She was one of the most fearless members of the squad and one of the ones with the most heart.
     As for Leto's Joker?
     I don't approve of the stuff he did to his co-stars to stay in character, but I think he did a great job being the Clown Prince of Crime. My only real complaint about him was the style they gave him as far as costumes go. Otherwise, I was quite impressed. In a scene where he's interrogating a man in a freezer truck, you couldn't tell what he was going to do next (I literally couldn't breathe during that sequence) and that air of unpredictability is essential to the Joker's character.
     And what was even more pleasantly surprising was how he portrayed Joker's love for Harley. Anyone who's followed the Batman comics, games, or knows a little about the Joker knows that their relationship is one of the worst. He keeps her around because she's useful and is rarely ever genuinely good to her. He hurts her, abandons her, forgets about her, and yet she keeps coming back to him. It's one of the worst things ever and you want Harley to just leave him already! And yet in Suicide Squad, you want them to be together more than ever. Perhaps it's because they chose not to show a more abusive Joker. Whatever the case, when you see them together in the flashbacks - especially in the scene where she throws herself into a vat of acid to prove her love for him - you feel like he genuinely loves Harley in his own crazed way.
     Other notable acting pieces? Viola Davis made an outstanding Amanda Waller, being stone cold, formidable, ethically questionable, and ruthless. And in the beginning, it was good seeing Batman (Ben Affleck) taking out bad guys like he normally does (instead of fighting a meta-human for no real reason).
     If you're going to see Suicide Squad soon, I'd just tell you to prepare yourself for some clunky stuff that doesn't work. You'll know it when you see it. But if you go in knowing that it's not a perfect movie, you'll find yourself surprised at how fun it still manages to be. It's by no means the worst film ever made and while you may not get a chance to know all the characters as well as you'd like, you'll still have a great time following them around. 
     As for that Rotten Tomatoes rating?
     Look, I've seen Batman v Superman. I'd rather watch Suicide Squad three times in one day than watch that hunk of crap ever again. Suicide Squad deserves a rating somewhere between 50-60%, in my opinion.
     Like I said before: it's by no means perfect, but it's not that bad, either. 

                                                                                                          ~Maud,
                                                                                                 Official Night Owl

Friday, August 5, 2016

The Horror Movie Survival Guide: Character's Edition


     Hello, night owls! Last week, we did The Horror Movie Survival Guide: Viewer's Edition, where I laid out a plan of how to prepare yourself for watching horror movies if you're the squeamish or easily frightened type. Today, we look at it from a different angle - we look at it from a character's point of view. Whether you're writing a horror story and want to avoid tropes and deaths or just in case you ever find yourself in a horror movie scenario, these tips should help you out.

1. Don't Go There!
     Notice how there are more horrific happenings in abandoned houses, basements, run down asylums/hospitals, and cabins in the woods? Yeah, best to avoid those. It doesn't matter if there's some cool rumor about a ghost flying around and you want to investigate - more than likely, it's not a safe place.

2. Stick Together!
     If you're out with friends at an old summer camp and you get the feeling something isn't as it should be, then no! You never ever split up! Obviously, in the movies, the protagonists are split up to create tension within the audience. But after watching so many groups be torn about by slasher killers, we know better. And in real life, you definitely don't want to isolate yourself in such a scenario.

3. Get the Authorities!
     Seriously, some people in horror films don't think about this until it's too late. If you're in legitimate danger, you call the police. Often in horror films, they aren't called upon until almost everyone is killed. Or (and this is even worse) they're portrayed as being horribly inexperienced to deal with the crimes at hand. But in real life, they're there for a reason and if you're being chased by Michael Myers through your house, you don't just hope a neighbor sees this and calls 911: you call 911.

4. Don't Go In There!
     This is an extension of the Don't Go There! rule. Some places are perfectly safe...except for the 13th floor or that locked broom closet at the end of the hall. In either case, if there's a place with a suspicious air about it or a rumored curse or ghost, you don't go in there

5. Get Outside!
     You know that moment when you're watching a horror film and instead of running out the door, the protagonist decides to go upstairs or downstairs in their house? Yeah, we've all yelled "Are you kidding me!?" every time that happens. If you go upstairs, you're trapped! If you go downstairs, you're trapped! The only safe place for you to go is outside, where you still have hiding places yet room to run and there are people outside who can help you in case you couldn't call 911 before you left the house.

6. No PDAs!
     One theme in many horror films is that romance and sex are dangerous things when a killer is on the loose. So if your slasher is the kind that kills at the sight of the kiss, save cuddling for later.

7. Be Prepared!
     If you're being chased by a killer, pick up a baseball bat and walk/run on your toes for extra stealth. Basically, give yourself a fighting chance of survival by being quiet (as quiet as possible under the given circumstances) and having some sort of defense. 

8. Determination!
     Obviously, if you're in a scenario where some crazed maniac is running around your house looking for you, you're not going to be calm. To put it frankly, you're going to be scared shitless. But no matter how scared you are or what kind of mind games the killer tries playing with you, you have to be strong. You have to believe you're going to make it out alive and that belief will give you focus. It's the one trait of the surviving protagonists of horror films that you should definitely remember.

9. Remember the Curse!
     If you're dealing with supernatural stuff, like in The Grudge, The Ring, or anything else that's supernatural, the best advice I have is to remember the rumors surrounding said curse or spirit. If there's a rumor about a cursed VHS tape that kills you upon a viewing and a mysterious VHS tape falls into your possession, just leave it alone. Or destroy it. If you're looking to move into a new house, try getting a vibe from the outside before setting foot inside and do some research on the place. With most haunted houses, you could walk around once, and nothing might happen. But if it's anything like The Grudge, one foot inside could be your doom. Basically, know if you're getting into spooky stuff before it's too late.

     That's all I can think of off the top of my head right now! Anything I missed? Leave your survival tips in the comments if I did. Have a happy Friday everyone, and I will see you all on Monday to talk about Suicide Squad!!

                                                                                                         ~Maud,
                                                                                                Official Night Owl